tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756155754141659275.post7169383418551385068..comments2013-05-02T04:12:49.698-07:00Comments on What's on my bookshelf: Thoughts on Battle Hymn of the Tiger MotherKate Geisenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11854561265520868538noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756155754141659275.post-29897143058237778262011-04-22T16:50:34.541-07:002011-04-22T16:50:34.541-07:00I love your take on this and I am fascinated by th...I love your take on this and I am fascinated by the different perspective. I must say that I am not offended by this author (and I was a stay at home mom when my kids were young). Being a child psychologist, I'm fascinated by anything that has to do with parenting and child development...I totally want to read this!<br />Thanks so much for taking the time to write such a great review!Annehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08125640729727220332noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756155754141659275.post-79319198927129294012011-02-24T00:53:11.258-08:002011-02-24T00:53:11.258-08:00Just found your blog via the manliest runner in bl...Just found your blog via the manliest runner in blogland. Like Amanda, I wish you were in my book club. I think there's a balance in styles Chinese vs Western. I also think parental involvement and consistency are bigger roles than "pushing & threatening" or the "find you passion and I'll support you" approaches. Ultimately parents are influential, the task is how we focus those energies.Tortuga_Runnerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05129251953175800508noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756155754141659275.post-71838045722749720152011-02-13T14:03:21.998-08:002011-02-13T14:03:21.998-08:00Andrew,
Thanks for commenting! Very interesting.....Andrew,<br /><br />Thanks for commenting! Very interesting...I've never had a chance to see that play out in a work situation. It makes sense, though. While "everybody plays, everybody wins" is a great way to introduce kids to things, it sure isn't real-world reality in most situations. <br /><br />In the book, one of the things the author mentions is the difference between immigrant parents and the born-in-America generations...much as you described. <br /><br />And like you, I'm not a spanker. I'm not bc I felt like I couldn't keep on the right side of that discipline/abuse line. So instead I yell and ground and restrict privileges. Kate Geisenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11854561265520868538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756155754141659275.post-71603170953399258592011-02-13T12:38:54.712-08:002011-02-13T12:38:54.712-08:00Hey Kate. We have this thing in Canada called Tim...Hey Kate. We have this thing in Canada called Tim Horton's sports. It's sports (sponsored by the largest coffee/donut chain in Canada) for little kids that have no competition, no score keeping, and no playoffs. Everybody wins and gets a most valuable player award at the end of the year. Most "progressive" families put their kids into this league rather than the normal competitive leagues so that their children will not get hurt. <br /><br />We hired two such little league graduates as interns last year. We thought it was interesting to find two from different parts of the city. We hired 4 interns in all.<br /><br />Although they (donut little leaguers) came well-recommended, and had similar placements in high-school over the last summers, they were unable to cope with having customers upset with our company and product, and could not conclude service calls. When we put them into the marketing department, they were unable to filter out unnecessary information or make a decision about timing, rather preferring to leave everything in and work extra hours because they couldn't make a decision. Finally we gave them a chance in the engineering group with testing beta user interface designs. Again, they admirably were able to view the "feelings" of everyone involved but could not make a decision that might make someone angry. They were consistently looking for consensus. Unable to accept criticism, and very weak at thinking on their own (especially under stress).<br /><br />Although I don't like the comparison between the two cultures, because the Chinese culture is at a different stage socially and economically than the American - North America could use a lot more independence and risk taking in the way we raise our kids.<br /><br />I had a Polish mother, who is like a Jewish mother, who is like a Chinese mother in your book. The role is one of an immigrant wanting their progeny to succeed. <br /><br />Once you arrive at the destination your Chinese mother pointed you at, you can kick your heels up and wonder why your kids struggle to get a part-time job at MacDonalds!<br /><br />On another point - I was a running back for my High School football team (15 years old). We came home from shopping once and I didn't want to help my Mom carry out the groceries. A broom magically appeared and popped me in the a$$! After my attitude adjustment, I helped get the groceries in.<br /><br />I though, have never hit a child, and I'm 45. I talk them to death and then yell when I get angry. My wife is the boxer in the family. When they see her pressure cooker heating up ... they run to the four corners of the Earth!Andrew Opalahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12840813324329773479noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756155754141659275.post-66310705402985585622011-02-10T19:58:24.319-08:002011-02-10T19:58:24.319-08:00It's funny, bc at my book club the other moms ...It's funny, bc at my book club the other moms had a MUCH more critical view of her than I did. And here's one place where I think the difference comes from: I AM very much the kind of Western mom she criticizes, and I felt very convicted by this book. My friends, on the other hand, are all stay-at-home moms who really approach motherhood as a profession (in that they put time into developing their skills as mothers). They AREN'T, by and large, the kind of people she's talking about. <br /><br />And another thing that trips me up with this book is the idea of being "the best". How much is it worth to be the best? Is it worth your childhood? What does it bring to your life? In the end, would a child be content to put all that pressure and effort into being the best, or would he/she think the end result was worth it? And that doesn't even get into the idea of what if you aren't the best. <br /><br />I think a lot about this with running. And, to be clear, I'll never be any world class runner...I'm unlikely to even place in my age group unless donuts are involved...but the training I do is a lot for ME. And there are definitely times when I wonder if it's worth hurting, missing out on sleep, missing out on some (not much) stuff with my kids. What's the point? ...and then I keep going. Of course, the difference is that it's my motivation for myself, it's my choice whether to run or stop, to get up or sleep in, and her girls didn't have much of a choice in the matter for a long time. <br /><br />Such an interesting and loaded topic.Kate Geisenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11854561265520868538noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756155754141659275.post-37696859987359290472011-02-10T19:38:09.758-08:002011-02-10T19:38:09.758-08:00You are awesome at culling the teachable moments o...You are awesome at culling the teachable moments out of this book. <br /><br />I'm not sure if I could get past my judgmental opinions of this woman. Even though she has great points, in my opinion, I think she's trying to justify some pretty ghastly behavior. <br /><br />One of the biggest reasons that Chinese people give for committing suicide, is failure, a lack of success. Her theories makes me see why. <br /><br />Having said that, I didn't do the Suzuki method of violin with my girls because it required my participation. Perhaps I did fall down on the job. Every child I know who was really successful at violin, both in prowess and in diligent practice, all studied through the Suzuki method. It just goes to show parental involvement makes all the difference in the world. <br /><br />I'm conflicted. I tend to be really rash with my judgement calls and I won't lie. I hated this woman's mothering skills the first time I read about this book, but your words have given me reason to look at it another way. Thank you. I'm going to reread this, especially your points. I'll let you know what I think.Joann Mannixhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11163491824085428085noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6756155754141659275.post-23318207093978819572011-02-03T14:41:46.647-08:002011-02-03T14:41:46.647-08:00I have not had time to read all of this yet...my l...I have not had time to read all of this yet...my little guy is crying. But can you please move here to be in my book club. You're the kind of gal I'd like to discuss a book with! Makes me want to read! I think books are so good at making us think about our own lives. Especially the books that stick with us for awhile. This sounds like one that I might enjoy...if anything, just to get me being more conscious about my parenting.Amanda@runninghoodhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16389034066639666578noreply@blogger.com